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Thursday, September 13, 2007...9:33 AM.


Somebody


___________________

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give mE support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to mE
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For mE passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help mE see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I dont want to be tied
To anyones strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around mE
And kiss mE tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

_______________

what can i say~
i read it,
i felt it,
now i wanna show it~!!!


thenbrownbearwould
9:33 AM




Sunday, September 09, 2007...2:28 AM.


After awhile, i realized what loves partly means
and i would like to share it with the one i love most,
in hopes that it might make things a little clearer
for us...

- i love you -


________________


Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only what you are expecting to give.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.

Love is infallible; it has no errors, for all errors are the want of love.

Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.

Defination of love is juz You n Me...


thenbrownbearwould
2:28 AM




Friday, September 07, 2007...10:30 AM.


He couldn't help it... He had to blog cuz he had no one he could talk to. No one who will actually udtz what he is going through... He feels that he has lost her in every way already... Has she finally decided what she wants?! She must have... From the way things look, she has decided that settling in a serious relationship is not what she wants... He waited for her today as he so wanted to see her face. He was eagerly waiting till she arrived and than...... She didn't say hi nor look at him eye to eye... Instead she was looking ard .... haiz........................ Than he thought of trying to create a conversation but ended up hearing things that made him even more upset..... She is like somebody's kept woman now though she doesn't realise it... But who can blame her, He can't give her the things she desire now.... Is this the sign that is telling him to walk away as there is no place for him here?! She said goodbye to him like he was just another guy she knows.... Is this how she feels about him now?! Why did this have to happen... They're not together but he feels it... Doubt she does though.... Is the plain old clifton not good enough?! Was Master Ng better?! He fought for her so many times, be it friends, family etc.... Trying to change everybody's thinking about her... But seems like she couldn't care as it seems like just another guy doing something for her.... Does she want him just as a friend?! Does she no longer love him anymore?! He feels like a fool when people stare at him and gives him that look as though , are you sure she loves you back....

ArghzzZzzzZzzzz.......................

His heart feels the pain every min... IS there too many guys in her life that he doesn't seem impt at all?! Well, he guess that what he told her before is true...
There are too many guys who are successful enough to take care of her already... He guess that is what she is looking for... HE thinks that this is where he should take the farking hint and step out... Will she want him to go?! Will she stop him from going?! Does she love him enough to hold on to him?! As much as he wants to stay and fight for her hand, but its getting too painful... Sooooo pain sia... Tears roll as he sends every goodnight msg as it makes him think of her yet with another guy.... Who would udtz... No farking person will ever........


Do you know what i want
-->i want to love you & only you.
-->i want to be loved back by you & only you.
-->i want to give you evrything & expect nothing in return.
-->i want only your loving care & concern the way you gave mE before.

+i want so much but it seems impossible to reach anymore+
Where do i go from here?! What should be my nXt step...


He thought after blogging,he might feel a little better, but fuck!!!
The tears is still coming... i wish i could record this but i can't...
record the screams as it hurts too much... Do i have her?



____________


I DO NOT EXPECT TO SEE ANYONE TAGGING ME ABOUT THIS POST!



thenbrownbearwould
10:30 AM




Sunday, September 02, 2007...7:30 AM.

The Importance......
Here is a story to share...

_____________

She used to think he was everything she ever wanted.
But he must have let her down in some way and then he regretted.
Now, this buy never regretted in the things he has ever done till now...
What was happening?

Is there something missing? Than she used to tell
him everything including little details like where she was going or
what she was gonna have for dinner... Now she has stopped
all that and starts to speak in circles....

Is this relationship ever going to turn out like he hoped it would?
He keep telling himself day in, day out that things is going to change for
the better, but does she want the same thing too??? Why won't she talk to him,
why must there be a reason to talk? Why can't she tell him all that she feels?????????

If Only.......
But it can never happen, so he stopped day-dreaming...
What miracles can he do with those two hands of his? Is there something
missing from the puzzle that they have built all these years?!

There used to be a myth about how a bridge was built with cement & little
children's heads just so that the bridge would be strong...
If this were to be true, must there be some form of sacrifice in their
relationship too?!

Dazed & Confused?
Puzzled & Tired?
Sad & Petrified?
What does she want? How does she want it?
Is he not the guy she wants? How much love does she have
for him? Is she starting to forget about him already?
Has she found another?

He tortures himself with these ridiculous
questions, but as much as he tries, it never seems to be in his favour...
Can they eventually come together and really be ONE ?!



He just hope she knows that the love he has for her is still burning !
Will she help keep their flames of love burning ?




thenbrownbearwould
7:30 AM




Wednesday, August 22, 2007...11:28 PM.


This song seems so cute especially when you
notice how the guy struggles between
the one he loves & the one who
needs him at that point
of time...

_________________________________






_____________________________________

If only all endings could turn out like that or even better
than the word hurt won't exist,than there will be
no balance in life..But if only there could be
more endings like this than hurt won't
be so hard to deal with...


thenbrownbearwould
11:28 PM




Saturday, August 18, 2007...10:44 AM.

The Follow Up..........
This is a follow up on my past post....


Well i have been talking about my life most often and i guess i'm right back where i started...
Still lokking for a job, still waiting for her... All this is going to get better one way or
the other... I swear~!!!!



My Job
____________

I quit Lee Hwa Jewellery for a reason that no one knew. Some felt i couldn't cope,
She felt it was because of her. Well... it was all me and no one else.. I quitted my job because
i couldn't get my life on track properly. I could not balance well and ended up very tired everyday.
I had to force myself to go to work and there were times, or should i say most of the time, i
would end up taking a cabby to work... That cost me lots, on top of that i had a bad habit
of wanting to go drinking just so i could see her. Stupid right?! There were other ways
of seeing her. BUt i did not open all possibilities as when i went up to look for her, i
realized that i actually still love her. So you see, the problem lied in mE this whole time.

My Love Life
________________

Well currently, we are still together as in not together as gf/bf but
together... Things has gotten astray recently but i guess it must be me who is stressing on getting a job. I still try to msg her whenever my mind is at rest from all that stress.
On top of that my dad is back and it has only been the first day and i cant take it from all
his pressure on me... I still need to tolerate another 2 bloody weeks before he leaves again...
Arghzzzzzzzzz...............
Anyway, Jo-An & mE ...hmmz i don't have much comments now as we are
now in the midst of working towards our aim of earning more money.
Our love life, i might dare say it is still surviving as we have not given up hope on
each other.

*That is why i use the phrase "i might dare say" cuz tis is my opinion. i hope hers is just the same.*

____________________________

Well i would like to stop here with an ending that will let everybody know
how much i still loVe her... And tell mE if you don't want mE anymore!



thenbrownbearwould
10:44 AM




Friday, August 17, 2007...8:31 PM.

what am i thinking?!
Is there a cure to this insanity?!


When can i patiently move in?! Move in to
the place that i've long been waiting for... Nowadays,
i feel so out of place from you. Is it because i'm not trying harder
or is it because you're not ready to try?! All this
keep running through my head though i nOe that the
things we talked about should make me understand
better... i do, i do understand but i just cant stop myself
feeling this way... I want to tell you how i feel now but the words
just don't seem to be coming out from me. I guess that is
where i stay weak at, and i guess will most probably suffer by.

But apart from all that, i want to nOe how you feel,
how your day was, what you had for your meals, did you do anything
fun today? It may seem stupid questions, but ...i also don't
nOe why... There should be a logical explanation to everything,
but did falling in love had a logical explanation to it?
I understand what our aim is and why we
need to work hard for it. But along the way i loose track of what we've
talked about and sometimes what our aim is...


The only things that is giving me that strength
to still wait for our love to bloom once
again is knowing you still love
me...

Do you still love mE?!


thenbrownbearwould
8:31 PM






i would be




name:
BeaR aka Master Ng
bday:
1st Oct 1985
sch:
SchoOl of BeArs
likes:
Sweet stuff
dislikes:
Bitter things & people who lie to me
NOTICE !!!
undergoing really slow changes to this blog!

i would have

July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 August 2007 September 2007

i would like to say





then i would cry

jO-aN -precIouS-
HuiSaN
JiaYuN
JaCqUelinE
JeNnY
Kimmi
SeReNe
Jamie
CaNdy
KKstriker


don't.

creator:BeAr
designer: MaS+eR BeAr