Monday, May 21, 2007...2:27 AM.
its all here.....
I found a chip in the glass i was drinking in the other day.
Story of my life !
This few days, the walks to no designated place gave me the time to think about
what she said. I did think of something and that was about how the heart &
mind have different thinking. Than i remembered someone once told me,
it is a matter of what you want. Because both belongs to you and only you.
So it is a choice of your mind controlling your heart or your heart rulling your mind.
The places i saw, The people i met, The problems i faced.
I faced them well because i had her in mind. I thought i was moving
the right path. But then i realise where my fault was. I was pushing too fast.
My baby wanted to start over a new beginning be it work, love ...
I forced it to fast on her and thus the results. F*$% me!!!
I always kept saying that when you are in a relationship, you must know that whatever you do,
you have to think about your other half. Because when you are in a relationship, its never about you anymore. But i guess i did not follow what i said. If ther was a way, i'd bring back a few steps and move slower. Some people think that love is all i'm thinking about of now.
Some thinks that i don't have any aim in life just because i doing nothing at the
moment. My future is waiting now but i also know it won't wait for very long.
All i want is for eveything to move up together at a sturdy pace. I don't want to leave one behind.
Last night i met a close friend and she notice the only ring on my finger. She liked it and as usual wanted to take it and wear it. But then she notice the ring mark on my finger. And she asked how long have this ring been on my finger. i replied her and she returned it to me and said. "Clifton, you have changed".
"This ring means alot to you if not the mark won't be there". With these words,
i felt the feeling of lost in my body when all seemed well.
Then i only realise that in me seeing that all was well,
was just an illusion. I was still hurting.
The brave front i tried to put up could only fool a few but not the ones that were dearest to me.
What was i fighting for all these months?!
It is like a primary school project of building something simple like a farm.
When you have almost done everything up and suddenly something falls apart and you have to re-do it.
Than you start to think, Where did i go wrong?!
What did i miss out or what did i not put more into?!
Can things ever go back to the times when it was just us?!
I know love is not the only factor but without love there is nothing to begin with am i right?!
How is it so? Why is it so?
I might find someone better, but i'll never find someone like you.
The one i love... The only one i wanna spend my life with...
I'm still trying to put up that strong front. But it ain't easy.
I know we have our careers and the things we want to set straight in life.
But i don't feel the need to be alone when we are pursuing all this.
I really must have went wrong somewhere.
as you are serious, i'm also serious in bulding a whole new world
with you... Would you still give us that chance? I never meant to wrong you.
I never meant to be selfish either. If you could look through my heart, you will see nothing but sincerity as i say this out.
Girl you better have fun cuz i'm a fool...
Cuz nothing compares to you...
Till we have that talk, I'll be there for you no matter what. I'll be that
pillow to cushion the fall.
When i said to be fair, i meant that if ever something ever happened
to you, i don't know what i'll ever do.
Tell me to my face if you don't want me anymore. It may hurt me much but it is better than this.
Tell me to my face if you want me & need me too...
No matter what, you can be assured that i love you and my heart's an open door for you.
The circle i once showed you for its always neverending
............O...........
thenbrownbear
would2:27 AM
